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Silencio para elegir solo a Dios

Silencio para elegir solo a Dios :
Seguimos reflexionando sobre el silencio del espíritu, es decir, el silencio que el Espíritu Santo va obrando en nuestras almas. Ahora profundizaremos sobre otro silencio que el Espíritu Santo realiza en nosotros, el silencio del propio amor. No me refiero al amor propio, a ese mal carácter o trato difícil que tenemos sino que este silencio como purificación de algo bueno que hay en mí, diría, de lo más noble que hay en nuestro interior. Se trata de purificar la capacidad de amar. Por lo tanto, no es vaciarse de algo negativo, sino vaciarse de algo bueno, del propio amor para ser llenados totalmente por el Amor de Dios. Es decir, nos referimos a aquel silencio que Dios regala a fin de que, al mismo tiempo que crecemos en el amor, nos desprendamos de él, para fijarnos solo en el Dios Amor.

Dar amor y recibir desamor
Pudiera ser que la gracia de Dios haya conseguido en nuestra vida y en nuestro actuar que impere el consejo paulino: “vence el mal con el bien”. Ante las adversidades, dificultades y errores ajenos respondemos con paciencia, con consideración, con una sonrisa, con paz, incluso interior. Pero una cosa es vencer el mal con el bien, y otra muy diversa es ofrecer el bien y recibir, en respuesta, el mal. ¿Qué doloroso e injusto es esto? ¡Cómo es probado nuestro amor cuando en respuesta a nuestro amor recibimos desprecio, incomprensión, rechazo, malentendidos, falsos testimonios! Hemos sido buenos, solamente hemos hecho el bien de modo desinteresado y recibimos malas respuestas, desamor. No hemos hecho nada para merecer tal mal, no lo hemos buscado; pero Dios lo permite. Permite que nuestro amor quede en soledad, abandonado a sí mismo, a su mismo amor. O nuestro amor sigue amando, o dejará de haber amor a nuestro alrededor.
Esto es lo que aparece en los juicios a los que fue sometido Jesús en su pasión. Él había hecho el bien: “Si he faltado al hablar, muestra en qué he faltado; pero si he hablado como se debe, ¿por qué me pegas?”. Esa es la pregunta que se hace también nuestra alma: ¿por qué la incomprensión?, ¿por qué el desprecio, el rechazo? En su reciente libro, Jesús de Nazaret, desde la entrada en Jerusalén hasta la resurrección, el Papa responde a la pregunta de Cristo y a las nuestras: “No se dan cuenta de que, precisamente burlándose de él y golpeándolo, cumplen literalmente en Jesús el destino del siervo de Dios: la humillación y la exaltación se entrecruzan de modo misterioso”. Continúa: “De ahora en adelante comienza algo nuevo. A lo largo de la historia, los hombres miran el rostro desfigurado de Jesús y reconocen precisamente en Él la gloria de Dios”. Así ocurre con nuestro amor: a raíz del mal que recibimos, nuestro amor puede ser realmente Amor (con mayúscula) porque es un amor como el del Padre que está en los cielos, que hace el bien, que ama, a buenos y malos.

Siembra amor…
Hemos oído decir también: “donde no hay amor, siembra amor y cosecharás amor”. Parecería que es una frase hermosa y bien construida pero no siempre corresponde a la verdad. En efecto, sembramos el bien, amor… y con frecuencia nos sentimos no comprendidos, incluso por las personas cercanas y que más nos quieren. No es que busquemos alabanza o aplauso, no. Simplemente deseamos que nuestros familiares o superiores aprecien, reconozcan, al menos compartan el bien que hacemos, el amor que prodigamos. Recuerdo una joven que, tras cierta lucha interior, decidió cuidar su modo de vestir, siendo más discreta y recatada. Para ella, era un dolor inmenso ver que no era comprendida por su hermana y su madre, que se hacía silencio en torno a su amor. ¡Cuánto sufre el amor cuando es recibido con indiferencia!

El silencio de Cristo
También Jesús sufrió esta purificación. Jesús aceptó con amor el proyecto de Dios Padre que, con su providente amor, había pensado para su Hijo. Pedro, quien más debería entender el amor humilde del Maestro al lavar los pies a los apóstoles, no comprende. Su negativa es como si le dijera (palabras nuevamente del Papa): “‘Tú eres el triunfador. Tú tienes el poder. Tu abajamiento, tu humildad es inadmisible’. Y es siempre Jesús quien tiene que ayudarnos a entender una y otra vez que el poder de Dios es diferente, que el Mesías tiene que entrar en la gloria y llevar a la gloria a través del sufrimiento”. Así también nuestro amor, sufriendo incomprensión es llevado por Dios hasta el Amor (nuevamente con mayúscula).

Lloramos al ver nuestro desamor
Mayor sufrimiento aún es cuando nosotros mismos no aceptamos nuestro propio amor. Hemos oído decir: “donde abundó el pecado sobreabundó la gracia”. Pero no lo sabemos aplicar a nuestra propia vida. Amamos, queremos amar, queremos dar lo mejor de nosotros mismos, no solamente a los demás sino a Dios. ¡Tanto hemos recibido de Él! En cambio, en la propia vida descubrimos debilidad, miseria, pecado, tanto desamor. Y el amor sufre al reconocer el propio desamor. No queremos el mal, luchamos contra él, pero ahí está: presente a cada momento, como sombra de nuestro mismo ser que siempre nos acompaña. Y lloramos nuestro poco amor. No nos queremos ver tan vacíos de obras de amor hacia nuestro Señor.

El ejemplo de San Pedro
Pedro es modelo del sufrimiento a causa del desamor. Ante su error, él mismo se autocastiga ante el Señor: “apártate de mí que soy un pecador”. Pero, no. No es este el camino correcto a donde nos debe conducir el desamor que Dios permite en mi alma. Dice el Papa refiriéndose a las negaciones de Pedro: “el canto del gallo se consideraba como el final de la noche y el comienzo del día. Con el canto del gallo termina también para Pedro la noche del alma en la que se había hundido” en su silencio y desprecio personal. Y continúa: “la mirada de Jesús llega a los ojos y al alma del discípulo infiel. Y Pedro, ‘saliendo afuera, lloró amargamente’”. El sufrimiento del propio desamor nos debe preparar a la escucha de nuestro Señor que pregunta: “¿me amas?, ¿me amas?, ¿me amas más que estos?”. Hasta arrancarnos la única respuesta válida: “‘tú conoces todo, tú sabes que te quiero’, reconozco que no soy yo quien es Amor, sino tú, mi Dios, en mí”.

El dolor del apóstol
Todavía el amor puede ser más purificado. “Por sus frutos los conoceréis”. Es el dolor que experimenta la persona apóstol, consagrada, cuando ve que su amor no produce fruto en los demás. Cuando toda la labor que el amor ha realizado no fructifica, cuando ve hundidos en el mal a quienes su amor debía haber transformado. Se sufre por el mal que el propio amor no ha sido capaz de evitar en las personas que nos han sido confiadas. Es el dolor del padre o la madre al no ver en sus hijos la coherencia que han inculcado, o el sufrimiento del formador o formadora que no ve realizado en sus religiosos el ideal que tanto se han esforzado por transmitir.
Contemplemos el sufrimiento del corazón de Cristo ante Judas. Su amor no fue capaz de evitar la traición y desesperación de Judas. Pero, anota el Papa en su libro: “sin embargo, la luz que se había proyectado desde Jesús en el alma de Judas no se oscureció completamente. Hay un primer paso hacia la conversión: ‘he pecado’, dice a sus mandantes. Trata de salvar a Jesús y devuelve el dinero. Todo lo puro y grande que había recibido de Jesús seguía grabado en su alma, no podía olvidarlo”. Esa es la certeza que debe imperar en el corazón del apóstol: no es el propio amor sino el amor de Dios, a través de uno, el que siempre alcanza fruto. Es la certeza que nace de la fe en que el Amor tiene mayor poder que el mal humano.

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