Home » Reflexiones » Quiere a tu hijo adolescente cuando menos lo merezca, porque será cuando más lo necesite

Quiere a tu hijo adolescente cuando menos lo merezca, porque será cuando más lo necesite

Quiere a tu hijo adolescente cuando menos lo merezca, porque será cuando más lo necesite :
Pretender abarcar el significado y los retos de la adolescencia en un artículo o en un corto de pocos minutos, es una tarea imposible. Pero lo que sí podemos hacer, basándonos en el video propuesto, es dar cuatro ideas generales sobre esta etapa de la vida, que ayuden a los padres o formadores de adolescentes a reflexionar y a investigar un poco más sobre lo que implica acompañar a un ser humano en este momento de su vida, en el que se pone en juego algo tan importante como avanzar hacia la autonomía responsable y poner bases sólidas para la adultez psicológica y la adaptación social.

1. La adolescencia no es un capítulo de reality

Hay una idea que, debido a la proliferación de contenidos mediáticos, pareciera que es universal: la crisis de la adolescencia es una etapa terrible en la que los padres deben tener escudos y lanzas listos para poder superarla. Eso no es cierto. La adolescencia no se manifiesta, necesariamente, en rebeldía cuasi delincuencial y demencial. Esos jóvenes perdidos que se ven en televisión, que llegan hasta agredir físicamente a los padres, son eso: casos sensacionalistas para la pantalla que no llegan al 15% de los adolescentes en general. Es más, normalmente este tipo de conducta tiene correlación directa con problemas familiares más estructurales que no son tema de este post. Si se ha hecho un buen trabajo en formar a los hijos desde la infancia, lo más probable es que se tenga a un adolescente viviendo su crisis de crecimiento y cuestionamientos personales sin sangre ni rejas. Considerar la adolescencia como una crisis con tintes patológicos solo hará que se interpreten todas las conductas del hijo como algo negativo y generará una actitud defensiva por parte de los padres. La adolescencia sí, es una crisis, pero una crisis de camino a la madurez, a ser mayores. Los padres, como nos dice Gerardo Castillo Ceballos en su libro El adolescente y sus retos: la aventura de hacerse mayor, “al ver la adolescencia como una enfermedad reprimen conductas que son normales en esta edad y que cumplen una función necesaria para el desarrollo personal. Aquí tienen su origen algunas actitudes negativas de muchos padres de hijos adolescentes: la autoridad impositiva; la incomprensión; la falta de respeto; la intolerancia; la impaciencia; la desconfianza. Son padres que en vez de ayudar a los hijos a ejercitar las nuevas capacidades (reflexión, sentido crítico, razonamiento, autonomía moral, intimidad, apertura a la amistad, etc.) se dedican, con la mejor intención, eso sí, a entorpecerlas. De este modo no sólo retrasan la maduración de sus hijos, sino que, además, provocan situaciones de incomunicación y de conflicto”.

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