Las Estaciones en el Matrimonio :
Cuando se habla de estaciones en el matrimonio se habla de las etapas de la evolución en el amor, es decir, del crecimiento en el amor.
Cuando nos ponemos a reflexionar sobre el amor, existe siempre un peligro: la idealización, tratándolo como si fuese una especie de ensueño, un cierto mito. Tal actitud no sirve de nada. El amor es una realidad, no un sueño. El amor no debe ser soñado, sino vivido. Y la vida es crecimiento. Y este crecimiento se realiza en el tiempo. Y en el tiempo hay primavera, verano, otoño e invierno. Cada estación es necesaria para la maduración en el amor, para el crecimiento en el amor. El amor que no crece, se estanca. Y el agua estancada es nido de bichos, insectos y microbios, y quien bebe esa agua y se acerca a ese estanque sufrirá de paludismo, de disentería, malaria o cólera.
El amor requiere, pues, del tiempo para crecer y desarrollarse. Requiere de las estaciones para sembrar, regar, crecer, limpiar, madurar, cosechar y disfrutar de la cosecha. Si no, el amor muere, se agosta, se seca.
El amor, atravesando el tiempo, conoce ciertas transformaciones. Como el hombre que nace, crece, madura y envejece, así también el amor. Los esposos, por mucho que se amen, no se amarán siempre de la misma manera. Existen avances y retrocesos, momentos de calma y época de crisis. Esto obliga a los cónyuges a vivir en estado de alerta, para no irse a pique en esos momentos críticos.
I. PRIMAVERA MATRIMONIAL (aurora)
¿Cuáles son los síntomas de la estación primaveral? Los árboles comienzan a florecer, los pájaros a cantar, el sol alegra nuestro día. La primavera nos ofrece mañanas suaves, mediodías de ensueño, tardes apacibles y noches refrescantes, serenas, y claras. La luna brilla llena en el claro cielo primaveral, casi sin estrellas. La primavera es la estación siempre deseada, después de un invierno tal vez crudo e implacable. La primavera la sangre altera. En la primavera todo es ensueño, alegría, felicidad y proyectos de siembra. Las plantas exuberantes, húmedas y rizadas.
Azorín describe así la primavera: “Un almendro en flor solo, en un barranco rojizo. Arriba, el cielo azul. Tintineo de un rebaño lejano. Son de una fuente. Olor a romero y espliego. Sombras azules. Voz de una canción que se apaga con la tarde. Allá en lo alto de la montaña, de noche, la lucecita de una hoguera” (En su libro “Un pueblecito”, Riofrío de Ávila).
Es el amor fresco, todavía inmaduro, lleno de rocío, de ilusiones, entusiasmos de los primeros años de matrimonio. Es un amor todavía hecho capullo que no ha abierto su flor. Es un amor de ensueño, de belleza. Es un amor que no ha recibido todavía los soles fuertes del verano, ni el granizo ni tempestades del otroño, ni las heladas del invierno. Es un amor tierno, no fortalecido todavía. Es un amor de descubrimiento: en esos primeros años ambos, el esposo y la esposa, descubren juntos un universo nuevo, con la ternura propia del comienzo, hermosa, sin duda, pero quizá demasiado fácil. En la primavera del matrimonio el amor está apenas estrenándose, la ternura en gestos y palabras está abriéndose camino…no ha tenido tiempo de contaminarse ni de ser rehusada, ni violada.
¿Cuáles serían, entonces, las características de la primavera matrimonial?
1. Es verdad, que los primeros años de matrimonio deben ser años de primavera, donde comienza a florecer el amor. El árbol matrimonial comienza a echar su flor olorosa y perfumada, como la flor del almendro o del azahar. Vienen los primeros hijos y se oyen las melodías por toda la casa. Todo se llena de sonrisas y de gorjeo.
2. Ambos comienzan a conjugar el pronombre “nosotros”. Antes era el “tú y el yo”. Ahora brota de los labios el “nosotros”: “Que te parece si vamos, si hacemos, si viajamos, si caminamos, si compramos…”. Es la estación de los sueños compartidos, de los proyectos compartidos.
3. Se van comunicando la ternura mutua, esa tendencia a acercarnos al estado anímico del otro, y no sólo al cuerpo del otro. La ternura es altruista, es ese deseo de comprensión, de compasión y aceptación del otro. Esa ternura se manifiesta en un mirar, en una sonrisa, en una lágrima, en una caricia, en una forma de apartar el cabello. En la ternura el alma utiliza el cuerpo, pero sin apegarse y diluirse en él.
4. Los primeros meses de matrimonio son una época de euforia amorosa. Los corazones, llenos de efervescencia, se buscan y se completan. Los conflictos son mínimos; los hábitos, que darán lugar más tarde a la peligrosa rutina, todavía no están constituidos. El amor es nuevo y está intacto. Surgen, claro está, algunos malentendidos aquí o allí, pero apenas esbozados se superan de inmediato. Se está demasiado ocupado en edificar el futuro, el porvenir, que aparece ahora como el nuevo presente: la casa común, el círculo de amigos común; después, tarea la más preciosa de todas, el recién nacido, fruto del amor, que lanza a los jóvenes esposos a una esperanza nueva, maravillosamente fascinadora. Recién salidos de la esperanza en que se vivía el noviazgo, se vuelve a ella por la fecundidad de la unión. El amor, en esta fase, es fácil y generoso.
5. Ya desde la primavera matrimonial vendrá la primera crisis de la desilusión, que aparece entre el segundo y el tercer año de matrimonio. Los meses, poco a poco, han hecho que el matrimonio se vaya encauzando. Y el descubrimiento, que al principio era sólo alegría, comienza poco a poco a desvelar lo que no había podido aparecer antes. En el noviazgo somos presa de la ilusión: se cree que todo será color de rosa. No se ha experimentado la convivencia diaria, los roces diarios, los defectos diarios. En el noviazgo sólo se ven las rosas; nunca las espinas. Éstas se comenzarán a ver ya en el matrimonio, en medio de la convivencia diaria. En el noviazgo el amor viene visto en un espejo deformado, que me hace más grande y mejor de lo que es en realidad. Se había construido una imagen ideal, no real.
Con esta experiencia se va entrando ya en el verano del matrimonio. Ya hace calor, vienen los soles de la dificultad, se suda en el trabajo de la casa, en el cuidado de los niños. La familia del otro cónyuge también pesa en mi familia. ¡Cuesta!
Consejos que les doy para vivir esta primavera matrimonial:
1. Comenzar el matrimonio con esta decisión: “Quiero hacerte feliz”. Y no: “Quiero que me hagas feliz”. Sólo así el amor tendrá un valor moral que inundará la vida cotidiana a pesar de la monotonía y sus erosiones.
2. Comenzar el matrimonio con esta certeza: “Nadie puede ser para mí todo”; sí puede ser casi todo, pero nunca la plenitud definitiva. ¿Por qué? Porque el hombre es un ser referencial; no es ni causa ni origen de su término; es camino hacia algo. Por eso nadie está capacitado para llenar y por siempre a alguien. Se necesita una referencia superior. Lo otro sería crear demasiadas expectativas, error que sucede con bastante frecuencia y que indica un escaso conocimiento del hombre y de uno mismo. Sólo así superaremos la crisis de la desilusión. No se debe decir nunca: ”Tú eres todo para mí”; sino más bien: “Construyamos juntos nuestros matrimonio para ir logrando la plenitud del amor”. Esta plenitud no se logra en los primeros años. Es un fruto que se consigue.
3. Comenzar el matrimonio con este desafío y tarea: “El amor conyugal se protege y afianza con la virtud”. La virtud es hábito bueno. Y lograr las virtudes, cuesta. Sólo así la vida afectiva y sexual estará bien orientada, será estable, firme y tendrá raíces fuertes. De lo contrario, la sexualidad y la afectividad desembocarán en un desenfreno, que en poco tiempo será fuente de amargas decepciones.
4. Comenzar el matrimonio dosificando el tarro de las esencias de la ternura. No destaparlo todo de golpe, porque empalagaría. Ternura es delicadeza, exquisitez, finura, elegancia, suavidad, cortesía. Ternura es benevolencia, abnegación, renuncia, dulzura, amabilidad. Si faltase esta ternura en los primeros años de matrimonio, ese matrimonio puede caer en una gran enfermedad: la rutina; y la rutina desemboca en la desilusión. Cuando hay rutina, hay apatía, dejadez, despreocupación por afinar y mejorar el trato. La ternura que espera la mujer del hombre es recia y suave a la vez; fuerte y tersa. Con esos materiales hay que edificar el cariño diario.
5. Comenzar el matrimonio con esta consigna: “No confundamos el amor y el sexo”. Si se confunden, se está firmando el acta de defunción de esa relación amorosa. El auténtico amor y esa relación terminan por agotarse. Por eso, hay que llenar el amor con valores humanos, espiritualidad. Sólo así esa relación amorosa será humana, digna y hermosa.
II. VERANO MATRIMONIAL (mediodía)
Así lo describe León Tolstoi: “Gran sequía y calor asfixiante. El sol se pone en el horizonte entre una neblina rojiza. Únicamente el rocío de la noche refrescaba la tierra. El trigo que no ha sido segado se seca y cae el grano. Los pantanos se secan, el ganado muere de hambre sin encontrar pastos en los prados requemados por el sol. Tan sólo por las noches y en los bosques se siente algo de frescor mientras están humedecidos por el rocío. A veces, uno se ahoga en el polvo caliente, sofocante, que la noche no ha refrescado. Y ese polvo se mete en los ojos, en los cabellos, en las narices y, sobre todo, en los pulmones de los hombres y animales. Cuanto más se eleva el sol, más se levanta aquella transparente nube de polvo fino y ardiente. El sol parece una enorme esfera de color carmesí. No corre un solo soplo de viento y los hombres se ahogan en aquella atmósfera inmóvil. En estos veranos hay que ir con las narices y las bocas tapadas con pañuelos. Y cuando se llegue a casa, hay que arrojarse sobre los pozos y pegarse por obtener agua y beberla hasta llegar al cieno” (Guerra y Paz, parte X, cap, 5).
Y Azorín describe el verano con estas palabras: “Desde una altura, una inmensa extensión de mar azul y una costa lejana. Haz luminoso de faro que pasa y torna esplendente la noche. Trajes femeninos ligeros y olorosos. Ventanilla abierta en el tren. Paseo lento durante el ocaso”.
El verano también tiene su encanto. De la tierra seca, caldeada por el sol, se exhalan los aromas del romero, del tomillo y de la hierba seca.
También en verano puede venir una tormenta. Sobre el horizonte asoma su hombro negro una nube redonda, torva, maléfica, mágica, y con ella un extraño dramatismo en el paisaje. De repente entra en el umbral una tolvanera que enciende la tiniebla con innumerables lucecitas áreas. Poco después, otra ráfaga y otra. Caen unas gotas gruesas que estallan sobre el polvo del camino. Las gotas menudean, y un trueno gigante retumba. La nube cubre el horizonte. Llega a la carrera, un galope triunfal, como si dentro de ella un dios bárbaro viajase. Llueve. El chubasco arrecia. Otro trueno parece machacar las vegas. Un rayo da su latigazo a los caballos aéreos de la nube. La tolvanera no deja ver nada, y súbitamente entra una bocanada de sentimientos, emociones que buscan recaudo en el zaguán.
¿Cuáles serían, pues, las características del verano matrimonial, del amor en el verano matrimonial?
1. Es la época en la cual el matrimonio se constituye realmente. Se abdica de los sueños, se desvela la verdadera cara de ambos, se conocen cuerpo y alma; la vida en común deja de ser una cohabitación eufórica para convertirse en una cotidianidad terriblemente exigente. Se establece entonces el ritmo del verdadero amor. Donde sólo había un entusiasmo impetuoso, aparece un esfuerzo constante. Menos arrobamientos y éxtasis, y más paciencia recíproca. Comienza la juventud y la madurez del amor.
2. El amor se ha cristalizado en la realidad cotidiana. El tiempo eliminó del amor su esperanza onírica (sueños) y así forjarlo con total solidez. Hacia el quinto año, el matrimonio entra en posesión de sí mismo. Los salientes se han rebajado, la fase de adaptación terminó; hay un mutuo conocimiento que impide mayores roces. Ya están presentes los hijos, dando sentido al hogar; en esta época el amor se instala definitivamente. Es un amor acrisolado por el tiempo y listo para resistir el futuro y fortalecerse día a día.
3. Suavemente, los esposos consolidan su unidad en la vida en común, tan sencilla que llega a parecer trivial, cuando la verdad es que consiste en una dura victoria sobre lo cotidiano.
3. Como todo lo que es joven, este amor de verano crece, madura, se robustece y adquiere fuerza, pasea sobre el mundo y sobre el tiempo una esperanza soberbia, una terca voluntad de felicidad. Hombre y mujer están en estado de encuentro; su presencia es constante en esta etapa. Quizás sea éste el momento más sabroso del amor.
4. Sin embargo, no todo ocurre sin peligros. Si yo se superó la primera crisis de la primavera, la de la desilusión, entonces viene ahora la segunda: la crisis del silencio. Si el marido y mujer, en vez de avanzar uno en dirección al otro, superando las decepciones inevitables que surgen en el transcurso de los primeros años, se atrincheran en el silencio y en el conformismo, entran, más o menos en esta época, en una etapa decisiva. Si el demonio mudo se apodera de ellos, conjugando sus esfuerzos con los estragos del tiempo, caen ambos en una especie de letargo.
5. Si sólo hubiese silencio, ya sería algo grave; pero si a esto se agrega el paso de los años, se apodera del amor un cierto entumecimiento. La pareja vive, entonces, en retroceso, sin crecer, sin un ritmo seguro, sin dinamismo; pierde su juventud y comienza a esclerotizarse. Todo lo que está sujeto a la prueba del tiempo corre el riesgo de la esclerosis. Cuando un matrimonio sucumbe a este riesgo, cuando se congela en el silencio, dejando pasar los meses en un aislamiento recíproco, se encuentra en peligro de muerte.
6. Vencer al tiempo, y a esta segunda crisis, es indispensable para que sobreviva el amor. Esta fase segunda, crítica por excelencia, es la piedra de toque de la durabilidad de la unión. Una vez vencida, da paso a la tercera estación, al tercer momento, el de mayor felicidad: el amor de madurez; pero, si el tiempo victorioso envuelve al matrimonio en el silencio, ambos avanzan en dirección a la crisis de la madurez.
III. OTOÑO MATRIMONIAL (crepúsculo)
Azorín lo describe así: “Cimas de cipreses que dobla el viento. Rosas pálidas. Campanas que plañen. Una alameda alfombrada de hojas amarillas. Olor de frutas navideñas en una cámara campesina. Una tos, unos ojos ardorosos y unas manos pálidas y finas. Pétalos de rosa que caen. El tictac de un reloj en el crepúsculo. Un mueble ha crujido…”.
En el otoño hay vientos, lluvias. Los vientos se llevan las hojas secas de los árboles. Las lluvias refrescan y alegran la tierra seca. El otoño tiene su encanto y su melancolía. El crepusculo nos ofrece un panorama ocre y encendido, que serena el espíritu.
¿Cómo es el otoño matrimonial?
1. Es un amor nostálgico. Se han acumulado una quincena o más de años. Es un amor que vive del pasado, recordando los momentos pasados, sean agradables o desagradables, recordando la infancia y la juventud del amor, la primera y la segunda crisis. Si el matrimonio logra vencerla, se puede creer que está definitivamente consolidado. El tiempo se torna, ahora, un precioso aliado.
2. En el otoño del matrimonio la luz ya no luce fuerte e intensa. Es más bien, una luz ténue y pálida. Los esposos quizás hayan perdido el brillo de la juventud, pero han adquirido la profunda apertura de la madurez. Plenamente hombre y plenamente mujer, ambos han llegado a la cumbre de la virilidad y de la feminidad, respectivamente. Aunque las fuerzas naturales están menguadas, sin embargo, el amor se ha hecho fuerte, purificado de toda vacilación, de todas las antiguas tergiversaciones, y sus raíces son tan profundas en el tiempo que el hogar no podría ser turbado por ninguna oscilación. Es la hora de la madurez en el amor. Se han caído las hojas secas del egoísmo y del sentimentalismo inmaduro. Y van quedando raíces sólidas y resistentes.
3. El matrimonio aquí está en la mitad de la vida. Son los años más hermosos de la vida conyugal, en los cuales la felicidad es tan grande, y está tan bien integrada en lo cotidiano, que se desarrolla sin que nos apercibamos siquiera de ello. En la primavera matrimonial se hablaba de felicidad, se hablaba de planes y proyectos. Aquí, en el otoño matrimonial se es feliz, simplemente. La felicidad, el amor y la vida se han vuelto una sola y misma cosa.
4. Ese matrimonio pasa de la estación de la fuerza, la rapidez, el aguante y el logro a la estación en que maduran otra clase de virtudes: la sabiduría, la capacidad de juicio, la magnanimidad, la compasión sin sensiblería, la amplitud de miras y el sentido trágico de la vida, pero aceptado con serenidad y tranquilidad, sin aspavientos.
5. Si no se han superado las dos anteriores crisis (desilusión, silencio), es probable que choque, hacia los quince años o veinte de vida en común, con una tercera crisis, con frecuencia fatal, la de la indiferencia. Ha pasado el tiempo y ha paralizado el amor, e incluso lo ha matado. Al principio apareció la desilusión (primera crisis), después los primeros conflictos de envergadura; un poco más tarde, el silencio y el conformismo (segunda crisis): el amor se transformó en hábito, el hábito en rutina, la rutina, por fin en indiferencia (tercera crisis). Se vive junto al otro, pero los corazones ya no están en contacto. Los cuerpos se estrechan todavía, pero la unión ha perdido su significado. La vida en común no es más que una apariencia que se mantiene, sea por obligación -puesto que están los hijos-, sea por conveniencia, puesto que las reglas sociales lo disponen así. Pero la unidad está rota: de dos en uno que eran al comienzo, se ha pasado, a través del tiempo, al renacimiento de dos individualidades, unidas por vínculos exteriores y por papeles, pero desligados sus corazones.
6. Es una hora fatídica, ya que, rodeados por la indiferencia, los esposos recobran entonces su disponibilidad afectiva. Cuando el amor no existe más, siempre hay lugar para un nuevo amor, tanto más seductor cuanto que, habiendo sido el primero un fracaso, se apega uno desesperadamente a esta segunda promesa, que quizás sea la última posibilidad. Entonces, el matrimonio se separa, se instala la infidelidad, la vida común se transforma en un infierno, y se consuma la ruptura. En esta desdichada hipótesis, el tiempo ha triunfado sobre el amor. Los años han gastado los corazones, en vez de fundirlos en un amor mayor.
7. Resulta indispensable evitar este fracaso, que proviene del tedio. Para lograrlo, el matrimonio tiene que quebrar la rutina que le domina. Todo lo que es habitual termina por engendrar la indiferencia. También es necesario que marido y mujer se concedan momentos privilegiados en los que romper la monotonía inevitablemente acarreada por el tiempo. Uno termina por cansarse de todo, incluso del otro, aun cuando haya sido amado apasionadamente. La presencia obligada, el idéntico marco familiar, el rutinario paso de los días, son todos factores determinantes de una posible saturación. De esto a la indiferencia sólo hay un paso.
8. Para evitar este desenlace y preservar la lozanía del amor, es indispensable saber practicar -con mesura y ponderación- el arte de la ausencia. Una ausencia excesiva no conviene al amor; pero siempre es bueno algo de ella, para apartar el peligro del tedio que la presencia constante trae consigo.
IV. INVIERNO MTRIMONIAL (ocaso)
El invierno se acerca, se sienta y abre su ancho zurrón de peregrino. Saca los vientos del sur. Los vientos del sur son cazadores de nubes; conocen sus guaridas y las obligan a salir, asustadas, y a huir. Los vientos corren delante y detrás de esas nubes. Esos vientos van azotando el ramaje de los árboles; y los mismos árboles zumban, se encorvan y gimen.
El invierno es desnudez y blancura. Desnudez, porque en invierno hay un desprendimiento de todo. Y blancura, por la nieve. Es la estación pacífica, por excelencia. Y la caída de la nieve es un símbolo de paz. Lo más simbólico de la nevada es su silenciosidad. El agua de la lluvia y más si ésta es fuerte, rumorea y a la veces alborota en el ramaje de los árboles, en las yerbas del pasto, en los charcos en que chapotea. La nevada, no. La nevada cae en silencio. La silenciosa nevada tiene un manto, a la vez de blancura, de nivelación, de allanamiento. Es como el alma del niño y la del anciano, silenciosas y allanadas. Y un campo todo nevado y de noche, a la luz de la luna que parece también de nieve…es cuando mejor se siente el sentido íntimo, enigmático, místico, de las estrellas.
Año de nieves, año de bienes -dice el refrán. Porque la nieve endurecida luego por la helada, es el caudal de agua para el agostadero del estío. ¡Ay del que al llegar al ardoroso estío de la vida, al agosto de las pasiones ardorosas, no conserva en el alma la blanca nieve de la infancia, de donde manan los surtidores de frescura fecundante. ¡Nieve de infancia, nieve de vejez también!
En el invierno hace frío. Frío por el viento. Frío por la nieve. Frío por las heladas.
Azorín así lo describe: “A prima noche, a través de los vidrios del escaparate, allá dentro en la trastienda, se ve la cabeza inclinada de un viejo. Se desgranan las sonoras campanadas de la catedral. En la callejuela suenan pasos. Campanitas en la madrugada. Silencio de la nieve que va cayendo”.
¿Cómo es el invierno matrimonial?
En las otras estaciones ese matrimonio sabía que era mortal; ahora, en el invierno, no sólo sabe que es mortal, sino que lo siente. Lo siente en su carne, como los soldados en el frente de batalla.
Aquí hay que encarar la polaridad clave que según el psicólogo Erikson es la de Intregación versus desesperación. Este matrimonio tiene que comprender su vida como un todo, dado que sólo así puede llegar a vivir su adultez matrimonial, su vejez, sin amargura ni desesperación. Y sólo así puede llegar a entenderse con la muerte.
Ese matrimonio tiene que ser consciente de su corrupción y hacer las paces con la existencia defectuosa y gastada, en cuanto a su organismo físico.
La vejez no debe ser vista como un enemigo.
En la vejez hay que vaciarse, pues vamos subiendo en peregrinación. Por eso, se pierde el pelo, la buena presencia, la salud, la memoria, el dinero, los aplausos de ayer. Se pierden los seres queridos, a quien tanto amábamos. Vamos a la tumba. Y esto es doloroso y sangrante.
Pero el invierno es tiempo de CONTEMPLACIÓN, no como un ensimismamiento, sino como un recordar gozosamente lo vivido. Y es goce íntimo de lo vivido.
¿Qué características tiene el invierno matrimonial?
1. Ha llegado el momento de la menopausia y de la andropausia, no sólo en lo biológico. También afecta en lo psicológico. Si están fuertes, no hay problema; si no, la esposa, hasta entonces afectuosa y tierna, se hace una mujer fría, irritable e irritante. El hombre experimenta un declive en su virilidad. Pero, antes de que se produzca, se da una especie de llamarada que anticipa la llegada al punto muerto. Es lo que se ha convenido en denominar el demonio del mediodía. Así vemos a hombres de edad más que madura, hasta entonces buenos esposos, pasar por una extraña crisis durante la cual, olvidando su respetabilidad, se comportan como adolescentes, en este campo sexual. Es la última llama que brota de las cenizas antes de que la hoguera se apague en la vejez. Si el matrimonio, en el momento en que se produce este impulso, está minado por la crisis de la indiferencia, este período puede ser fatal. De pronto, se entera uno de que cierto marido que, según todas las apariencias, se conducía según las normas de un buen padre de familia, se ha permitido el lujo de dar un escándalo y destrozar su matrimonio. Es el triunfo del demonio del mediodía.
2. En cambio, si el matrimonio entra en esta fase con una armonía plena, vencerá fácilmente las dificultades inherentes a este momento de la evolución, y su unidad no estará comprometida para nada. Abordará entonces el estadio siguiente de su larga peregrinación amorosa a través del tiempo, y entrará en el reposo de una madurez recobrada: renacerá el amor.
3. En el invierno debe venir el milagro del renacimiento del amor. El tiempo ya ha avanzado mucho. La primera madurez ha sido ya superada, y más tarde, la época turbulenta de la menopausia y de la andropausia. El amor, triunfante, avanza sin percances y se encamina hacia un reposo lleno de ternura, de recíproco reconocimiento, de amistad definitiva. Es el crepúsculo del amor, el momento en que, antes de recorrer sus últimos años, el matrimonio disfruta de la unidad conquistada, de una armonía profunda y de una nueva paz. Los hijos han crecido, el tiempo ha pasado, las crisis han sido vencidas, el amor ha cristalizado definitivamente, las vidas se han fundido, se ha logrado la paz, y se tiene todavía una última juventud, antes de que se extinga la vida.
4. Es la hora de una felicidad pacífica, todavía vigorosa y que conoce hermosos impulsos, sin choques, pues se ha aprendido pacientemente a vivir juntos; sin conflictos, porque se sabe cómo llegar al encuentro del otro, y con un capital de ternura que se multiplica, porque se siente imperceptiblemente que el tiempo es breve, y que este amor, desde siempre eterno en su proyecto, está limitado, sin embargo, por los años que quedan. El tiempo, que no perdona, ofrece entonces a los cónyuges que han vivido felices su lucha, la inapreciable recompensa del renacimiento del amor. La vejez se convierte en el sello de eternidad sobre el amor ya vivido.
5. La muerte deja de ser un vacío y se torna una cumbre. Haberse amado hasta la muerte no es un privilegio, sino una victoria. Los que llegan son héroes de la existencia y del amor que se encuentran, en el ocaso, enlazados como en la aurora, más amantes que nunca, sabiendo que han sabido transformar en triunfo la esperanza de su juventud. Cuando el amor ha atravesado la existencia, deja solamente paz.
6. El amor aquí ya es caridad, que es la forma más perfecta del amor. La caridad es amor desinteresado, completamente gratuito. Ambos se dan la mano para vencer las últimas dificultades, para gozar de las últimas claridades del día. En la aurora de la vida -la primavera- era una audaz aspiración; aquí, en el ocaso de la existencia, es un reconocimiento infinito de esa conquista.
CONCLUSIÓN
¿Cuál de las cuatro estaciones es la mejor, la ideal?
Cada una tiene su encanto, su razón de ser. Por las cuatro tiene que pasar el amor, hasta llegar a su madurez.
En la primavera, el amor es tierno y suave. Es la aurora del amor.
En el verano, el amor es tostado por los soles de la vida y madura en frutos suculentos de comprensión, bondad, paciencia, respeto, ayuda mutua, sacrificio. Es el mediodía del amor.
En el otoño, el amor va desprendiéndose de todo, para vivir la experiencia del amor interior, en la soledad. Es un amor sereno, maduro. Se recoge la vendimia del amor: los racimos están ya maduros para ser triturados, convertirse en mosto y pasar por el invierno de la fermentación, para después ofrecer ese vino ya curado, reposado, oloroso. En el otoño se recoge lo que se sembró en la primavera y lo que se regó y escardó y se limpió en verano. Es el crepúsculo del amor.
En el invierno, el amor pasa necesariamente por la experiencia del desgaste corporal, de la enfermedad, pero el alma cobra en belleza, si se han superado las diversas crisis (desilusión, silencio, indiferencia). Aquí se disfruta de la victoria del amor y de sus frutos: paz, serenidad, gozo íntimo, donación.
¡Que Dios les conceda la gracia de vivir estas cuatro estaciones del amor con conciencia, serenidad y belleza!
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Allerdings werden Nordic Walking Stöcke in Längenabständen von 5 cm (selten auch 2,5cm) angeboten, so dass im gegebenen Fall gerundet werden muss.
Dabei zweckmäßig gerade bei Einsteigern eher abzurunden und
einen kürzeren Stock zu wählen. Als erfahrener Trainer kann man gerade durch (sinnvolle!) Variation der Stocklänge unterschiedliche Trainingsreize setzen. Fortgeschrittene dynamische
Nordic Walker können ruhig auch mit einem größeren Stock arbeiten. Für Anfänger ist
der Winkel sogar noch mehr größer zu wählen, so gegen Technik einfacher zu erlernen. Als zweite
Möglichkeit (wenn man nicht jedes Mal rechnen möchte) praktikabel die praktische Lösung: Stock und Unterarm sollten bei
fest umfassten Griff und gerade aufgestelltem Stock einen leicht größeren Winkel
als 90° ergeben. Stocklängen trotz gleicher Körpergröße optimal versorgt.
Bei dieser Art der individuellen Stocklängenzuweisung werden auch verschiedene Menschentypen (z.B.
4. Wie viel sollten Nordic Walking Stöcke kosten? Der Preis variiert abhängig deren Qualität des Schafts,
vom Material beziehungsweise dem Carbonanteil als auch vom Schlaufensystem.
Die Preisspanne für einen Qualitätsstock bewegt sich
zwischen 40€ und 100€. Gelegenheitswalker bekommen zwischen 40-50€ das beste Preis-Leistungs-Verhältnis,
Walker die ihre Stöcke öfter als 3mal im Laufe dieser Woche im Einsatz haben, sollten entsprechend tiefer ins Portemonnaie greifen.
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