Todos buscamos la felicidad.
¿Pero tienes claro, lo que para ti es felicidad?
Creemos que la felicidad depende de:
Obtener algo externo,
vivir de acuerdo a los valores culturales del momento.
Estas creencias nos llevan a ir por la vida pensando que, si logramos tener un poco más de dinero, una casa nueva, un coche o uno mejor, un viaje a…, la aceptación o admiración de la gente, bajar 5 kg., vernos más jóvenes, tener un cuerpo más fuerte, etc., entonces sí, vamos a ser felices.
Nos es difícil encontrar la felicidad porque la buscamos:
En el lugar inadecuado:
Fuera de nosotros, cuando en realidad viene de adentro.
Con una actitud equivocada:
Esperamos que nos caiga del cielo y que se mantenga indefinidamente, sin que nosotros nos tengamos que esforzar demasiado.
La vemos como un fin o una meta a alcanzar, cuando en realidad es un proceso, algo que se vive día a día y momento a momento.
Con un concepto equivocado de felicidad.
Pensamos que ser felices significa vivir en el éxtasis todo el tiempo y obviamente esto es imposible de lograr.
La alegría es parte de la felicidad, pero ser felices es algo más que estar contentos.
A nivel general, se puede decir que la gente es feliz cuando logra:
Estar satisfecho con su vida.
Nuestra satisfacción con la vida está relacionada con nuestras expectativas, logros y autoestima.
Cuando percibimos una distancia pequeña entre nuestros logros y nuestros deseos o expectativas, nos sentimos satisfechos y realizados.
Cuando la distancia es muy grande, nos sentimos frustrados y fracasados.
Ponernos expectativas altas pero alcanzables y trabajar adecuadamente para lograrlas, venciendo los obstáculos y manejando los «fracasos» o errores, depende de tener una buena autoestima.
Si nuestra autoestima es baja:
Nuestras expectativas son demasiado altas e inalcanzables, (porque tratamos de lograr algo que demuestre nuestro «valor como personas»), obviamente no lo logramos y nuestra insatisfacción es muy grande,
independientemente de cuales sean nuestras expectativas, nos esforzamos poco o nos desanimamos ante la primera dificultad, por lo que vivimos insatisfechos o frustrados.
Tener más momentos positivos que negativos.
En la vida de cualquier persona, existe la alegría y el dolor, situaciones fáciles y difíciles.
El problema surge, cuando le damos más importancia a las negativas y vivimos las positivas sin disfrutarlas, ni valorarlas.
Una persona que sabe ser feliz, disfruta plenamente cada momento de alegría, bienestar, satisfacción o belleza, por simple o pequeño que sea.
Y cuando vive una situación dolorosa, la enfrenta de la mejor forma posible.
Si puede hacer algo al respecto, lo hace y aprende de lo que le sucede, pero no se queda atorado en el dolor ni en los problemas.
De acuerdo a su profundidad y duración, podemos hablar de tres niveles de felicidad:
El primero está relacionado, con la sensación de bienestar general que tenemos como resultado de vivir momentos placenteros, relacionados con aspectos de la vida diaria como estar con amigos, en una convivencia agradable, disfrutar una película, un buen libro, una comida, etc.
El segundo es un poco más profundo, en cuanto a que nos «metemos» en la actividad que estamos haciendo y todo lo de alrededor deja de existir, lo que nos permite vivir una paz y bienestar muy especial.
El tercer nivel es el que nos proporciona una felicidad más profunda y duradera.
Es la felicidad que surge de vivir una vida plena de sentido y significado, dedicada a una causa de ayuda a otras personas.
Cuando nuestra vida tiene un sentido de este tipo, no por el beneficio o reconocimiento que obtenemos, sino por nuestra motivación interna, nuestra felicidad se mantiene a pesar de los problemas y del sufrimiento que encontramos en nuestro camino.
Este nivel es mucho más difícil de alcanzar como forma de vida, pero podemos hacerlo en pequeños momentos, olvidándonos de nosotros mismos, para entregarnos a alguien más.
Podríamos definir felicidad, como ese sentimiento de plenitud que logramos cuando:
Contactamos con nosotros mismos, con nuestra parte más íntima,
llenamos nuestros huecos internos,
estamos en armonía con nosotros mismos y
no nos causa conflicto la relación entre lo que queremos y lo que vivimos.
Es decir, cuando nos sentimos a gusto y acompañados, aun estando solos, con un sentimiento de plenitud, bienestar y paz interior, viviendo la satisfacción personal de ser quienes somos.
Esto puede sonar difícil de alcanzar pero todos lo hemos experimentado.
Son momentos en los que no nos estamos comparando con nadie ni pensando en todo lo que no tenemos.
Simplemente estamos disfrutando del momento, con una sensación de bienestar y tranquilidad que nos llega desde adentro.
En ese momento nosotros estamos bien, percibimos ese bienestar general y lo disfrutamos plenamente.
Esto no significa que sólo podemos ser felices si no tenemos problemas.
Si nos sentimos bien con nosotros mismos y desarrollamos una actitud adecuada, podemos solucionar los problemas, vivir los momentos dolorosos y seguir adelante.
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