Quiero hacer el amor contigo. Pero quiero asegurarme de que sea amor, y que sea siempre contigo.
La opción de la castidad antes del matrimonio no es una opción fácil. Estamos de cara a un mundo que proclama el tener relaciones sexuales como algo bueno y normal en cualquier momento y circunstancia. Hablar de esto se ha convertido en un discurso moralista, absolutamente anticuado y obsoleto. Incluso el término hacer el amor da risa hace tiempo, ahora solo se habla de sexo.
¿Cómo hablar de la castidad entonces? Me parece que este video lo plantea de un modo positivo y muy claro. Frente a un mundo centrado en el yo, en las sensaciones, los estados de ánimo y las emociones, es urgente recuperar el término amor en su significado más profundo. Porque las relaciones sexuales han sido hechas para eso, para el amor. No responden al deseo de sensaciones o placer. Y seamos sinceros, el que ama es el que está maduro para afrontar lo que significa el amor en su dimensión de entrega total al otro. El que ama es el que es capaz de comprender que para tener una relación sexual con alguien, se requiere algo más que el “creer que nos amamos”.
El Papa Benedicto XVI en su discurso a parejas de novios en el 2011 decía:
Como novios os encontráis viviendo una etapa única, que abre a la maravilla del encuentro y que hace descubrir la belleza de existir y de ser preciosos para alguien, de poderos decir recíprocamente: tú eres importante para mí. Vivid con intensidad, gradualidad y verdad este camino. ¡No renunciéis a perseguir un ideal alto de amor, reflejo y testimonio del amor de Dios! ¿Pero cómo vivir esta fase de vuestra vida, dar testimonio del amor en la comunidad? Quisiera ante todo deciros que evitéis encerraros en relaciones intimistas, falsamente tranquilizadoras; haced más bien que vuestra relación se convierta en levadura de una presencia activa y responsable en la comunidad. No olvidéis, además, que para ser auténtico, también el amor requiere un camino de maduración: a partir de la atracción inicial y del “sentirse bien” con el otro, educaos a “querer bien” al otro, a “querer el bien” del otro. El amor vive de gratuidad, de sacrificio de sí, de perdón y de respeto del otro.
Se trata de vivir con intensidad sí, pero también con gradualidad el amor. Ir madurando en la comprensión de que el amor es una virtud y que como tal implica el sacrificio, la renuncia, el respeto del otro, el saber esperar y la generosidad. Y más importante aún: comprender que ese amor humano participa del Amor Divino. Puede sonar utópico pero es real. En su esencia más profunda cuando el amor se manifiesta como donación y entrega al otro participa de modo directo en el amor de Dios que nos demuestra su amor dando la vida, entregándose TOTALMENTE por nosotros.
¿Qué es entonces hacer el amor con alguien? Literalmente eso: convertir en real y concreta esa demostración de amor, entregándose por completo, totalmente al otro. Nos dice el Papa Benedicto XVI:
Quisiera volver aún sobre un punto esencial: la experiencia del amor tiene dentro de sí la tensión hacia Dios. ¡El verdadero amor promete lo infinito! Haced, por tanto, de este tiempo vuestro de preparación al matrimonio un itinerario de fe: redescubrid para vuestra vida de pareja la centralidad de Jesucristo y del caminar en la Iglesia.
Por eso los amantes son los que aman. Los amantes no son los que tienen sexo. Por eso los amantes son los que esperan hasta el matrimonio, porque saben que el verdadero amor es paciente.
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