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COMO SER AMABLE CONTIGO MISMO?


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Se suele decir que somos nuestros peores jueces y verdugos o que solemos tratar mejor a los demás que a nosotros mismos. Tal vez, puede que nos auto-exijamos demasiado, que no nos perdonemos nuestros fallos y que nos cueste mucho mimarnos o decirnos cosas lindas.

Es necesario entonces, que aprendamos a querernos, respetarnos y aceptarnos, tal y como hacemos con otras personas que nos rodean. Empezando por uno mismo, es más fácil después extenderlo hacia el prójimo.

Algunos podrán decir que se exigen demasiado para no quedarse sin hacer nada o porque necesitan límites para seguir avanzando. Eso está muy bien. Lo que no es del todo correcto, es que nos estemos continuamente “echando en cara” lo que hacemos mal o lo que podríamos mejorar. Podríamos comenzar por no ser tan estrictos y permitirnos cometer errores de vez en cuando (que además nos servirán como aprendizaje).

Nos mostramos ante los demás como personas fuertes, decididas y valientes, todo un superhéroe o mujer maravilla. Mientras escondemos que tenemos miedo, que dudamos, que no somos felices.

Toda esa máscara o pantalla no nos ayuda, sino todo lo contrario, porque cuando llega el momento de estar a solas, nos convertimos en los más injustos y duros del planeta, no nos permitimos equivocarnos ni tan solo un poco.

¿Cómo comenzar a ser amable?

Decir “yo me amo” no es sinónimo de narcicismo, sino de aceptarme y quererme tal cual soy. Y aunque, justamente esto parece ser lo más difícil del mundo, no debería serlo. Por ello, algunos consejos que pueden ayudarte son:

1.Asume que te equivocas: Nadie es perfecto ni nadie nació sabiendo. Tal como le ocurre a los demás, tú también cometes errores porque eres humano. Relativiza tus equivocaciones, no hagas un mar de una gota de agua, pon las cosas en perspectiva.

Si hay algo de tu accionar o hablar que no te ha gustado, presta más atención para la próxima vez, analiza la situación y determina de qué manera solucionarlo. ¿Qué pasaría si el mismo error le ocurriera a un amigo o a un familiar? Convéncete de que el mundo no dejará de girar, ni será el apocalipsis porque te equivocaste, o mejor dicho, porque lo admitiste.

2.No ignores el dolor: tampoco la tristeza, el temor, el sufrimiento, la desesperación, la depresión… es decir, todo lo malo que te pasa. Querer disimular ante los demás puede servirte en ciertas ocasiones, pero llega un momento en el que debes hacer frente a tus sentimientos y emociones.

Eres capaz de soportar que tu mejor amigo se siente mal o que tu pareja tenga un día malo, pero no de decir “hoy estoy triste” o “estoy deprimida”, porque queremos a toda costa alejar ese sentimiento, esconderlo y no solucionarlo. Esto sólo sirve para empeorar las cosas.

3.Trátate de la misma manera que lo harías con alguien que amas: imagina que estás en la cocina con tu hijo pequeño que quiere ayudarte a poner la mesa. Toma un vaso y se le cae al piso, haciéndose añicos. ¿Qué le dirías? Puede que lo retes, pero también si el pequeño se corta o se pone a llorar lo consolarías, le dirías que fue sin querer, que es un error que le puede pasar a cualquiera, etc.

Ahora bien, ¿qué pasaría si en lugar de tu hijo fuera a ti a quien se le cae el vaso que se rompe en mil pedazos? Seguro que tu primera reacción sería pensar que eres un inútil y que no puedes hacer nada bien.

Compara ambas situaciones e imagina cómo se sentiría tu hijo si le dijeras lo mismo que a ti y como te sentirías tu si fueses más comprensivo como con el niño.

4.Tener un mal día no significa que la mala suerte llegó para quedarse. Todos podemos pasar por momentos que queremos olvidar, que nos hacen mal, donde no nos sale nada bien y parece que caminamos con una nube negra en la cabeza, que sólo nos moja.

Más allá de las cosas malas, desgraciadas o adversas, tenemos la posibilidad de salir airosos y ganar la batalla a la racha negativa, mala suerte o como queramos llamarlo. Siempre habrá cosas buenas para destacar aún en los peores momentos. Deténte unos minutos todos los días para pensar qué cosas agradecer… ¡te darás cuenta de que son muchas y muy buenas!

No seas tu mayor enemigo, mejor conviértete en tu aliado y compañero.

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